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''Now, fire up a packet capture, pour yourself a beer, and give the intern control of your botnet...''
''Here's your host, a man who once taught a german shepherd how to bark in spanish, and won a fist fight, using only his beard.......Paul Asadoorian!"
[Cut to live shot of Paul ]
''Hello everyone and welcome to Paul's Security Weekly - Episode 416 for Thursday April 30th, 2015''
* Introduce hosts and guests